Travelling bugs

I'm on the downhill run to my next overseas trip - in 8 weeks and 2 days I will be on my way to London, and I won't be home again for just over four weeks. It's been 5 years since I've been away (I don't count a week in Bali) - not that I'm counting the days or anything. It will be my second time in London, I went to Europe way back in 2005. It was my very first overseas trip and London was my very first stop. I was jet-lagged and a bit shell-shocked and I also arrived in the middle of a heatwave, so I'm probably the only person in the world who associates London with uncomfortable, muggy, sweaty heat. Ever since then, my feelings towards London have been pretty lukewarm. It wasn't the greatest experience of my life, and I'm so looking forward to going back and getting a "do-over." It's my chance to put all those lessons I learned last time into practice - and really, how often in life do we get to do that? (Don't answer that. I realise it's probably a lot. Just let it be rhetorical, okay?) 

1. Some details are really important.

Now, I'm all for not over-scheduling or over-planning before going away. However, because it was my first big trip, I didn't really have any idea what I was doing. I didn't bother to find out important information, like what time I could check into my hostel.  Cut to me landing at Heathrow at some hour of the morning that I'm not even going to mention, because it doesn't exist in real life, and then arriving at my hostel only to realise I had oh, about 7 hours to go before I could check in. Combine all those things with jetlag, exhaustion, and a heavy dose of first-time-out-of-the-country stress and what do you get? Tears. I'm not going to lie. I sobbed. I managed not to lose it in front of the check-in guy, but I the first phone call I ever made from one of those red telephone booths was to my mum. Which leads on to my next lesson...

Education on the tube (c) Four Letter Birds

2. Don't call your mum (or dad) in tears.

I want to make something clear here: my mum will disagree with this lesson, because she is loving and supportive and hates to think of any of her family being in distress and feeling like they can't talk to her about it. However, although a phone call home will make you feel better in the short term it is in fact, spectacularly unproductive. When you hang up the phone, you will still have a problem that needs solving, and not only that, you now have a parent who is probably at home fretting and worrying and wishing they could be there to fix whatever the problem is. Plus, you will probably feel kind of guilty about making them worry. I know I always did. So my advice here is to figure out your own catastrophe scale, and only call your parents when things are becoming dire. I mean, definitely CALL them, but don't deviate past "Everything is super great, yeah I'm a bit tired and man, hostels are noisy but I'm having SO MUCH FUN" unless you really have to. Find other ways to solve your problems like...

3. When travelling, fixing problems by throwing money at them often works.

Photo courtesy of Vogue China

This little gem was handed to me by my sister-in-law, and it's a travel-code that I live by. In this particular situation, I had a friend also in London (actually it was Emma!)  and my solution was to jump in a cab and go and spend the day with her until I could check in. I probably spent about $200 on cab fares that day (at least), and I'm certainly not sitting here now, eight years later, reprimanding myself for being so extravagant. I was upset. I was alone. I sought out a friend. At that time in my life, it was the right thing to do. Just remember there are problems and there are "problems." Wanting to buy all the clothes ever, is not a problem. It's definitely a "problem." I'm looking at you, me. 




4. Be better at making friends.

This might come as a surprise, but I was not always the charming, erudite, social butterfly you see before you now. One of my biggest regrets (yes, I believe in regrets) is that I wasn't more open to meeting new people in my travels as a younger me. To be honest, I was always slightly suspicious of people who tried to strike up a conversation with me. I'm sure suspicion was the appropriate emotion in some instances - after all I was a young woman travelling alone much of the time - but I wish I had been more confident and loosened up just a little. Because travelling is about people. When I tell people about my time in Dublin, I always tell the story about the friendly guy on Grafton street, who was signing people up to make monthly donations to Greenpeace. Once he figured out I didn't have an Irish bank account, he proceeded to spend twenty minutes chatting to me about Australia, my travels, and what I should do in Ireland. And the lovely woman who ran the hostel I stayed in near Waterford, who emailed me a photo of her two adorable kids after I left a positive review of the hostel on a website. People are, on the whole, inherently good. 

Dublin and the river Liffy... (c) Four Letter Birds

I'm not doing so much travelling alone this time, although I hope I squeeze some in as it has become one of my favourite things, ever. One of my main motivations for this trip is to visit some very beloved friends in London, and I am looking forward to seeing the city through a local's eyes. I don't know if I'll ever be able to shake that "I'm doing it all wrong" feeling, but who knows? Maybe London and I will get a second chance at love...

Happy New Year! 2013, I think you're gonna be alright.

I know, right? Three posts in three days. Things are getting insane around here. Probably something to do with the fact that I've had time off work over the holiday season. And also, this is kind of an inspiring time of year and it's nice to get those ideas out of my brain and down onto paper. Or laptop keyboard. You know what I'm saying.

I'm not making resolutions this year, but I am going to put down a list of things that I would like to do and/or achieve. Am I splitting hairs semantically? Probably. I don't like the word resolutions though, it's so...resolute. These are more like my New Years Intentions. Much kinder, don't you think?

1. Learn how to do cats-eye eyeliner

I like to make my intentions achievable and fun. Otherwise I won't do them, and then I'll just beat myself up for not doing them, which defeats the whole purpose of the exercise in my opinion. Anyway, I'm not particularly adventurous or creative (or skilled, frankly) with my makeup and hopefully this will be my first step into getting out of the makeup rut. Plus, any excuse to watch tutorials on youtube. 

2. Keep up the writing momentum.

I like this one because it's a nod to everything I've achieved in this sphere so far this year, and also a commitment to keep it up. As well as the blog, I've got a couple of other projects ticking away, and it's so much fun working on them and seeing them grow and evolve.

3. Be active every day for 20 minutes.

It doesn't matter what it is - walking, stretching, swimming, pilates. Dancing around my living room like a spazz to The IT Crowd theme song (although I'll try not to hit myself in the face with my own flailing hand. That happened once. True story. There is a witness.) The point is just to be active. To remind my body that it is made for other things besides sitting at a desk, typing. I was thinking about doing some kind of 365 project, but I didn't really want to do the photography thing. I take photos on my phone all the time anyway, so I decided to do something that is more health focused.

4. Don't be afraid to get more personal, here at Four Letter Birds.

I'm a pretty private person by nature, and I'm hesitant to post too much about myself and my life here. Sometimes it's embarrassing (see above story about injuring myself while dancing.) However, I realised not long ago that all the bloggers I really enjoy reading include quite a lot about their personal lives. Not in an overly-detailed, TMI kind of way but just enough to be interesting and help you feel connected to them. 

5. Drink more coffee.

I know. This is probably the exact opposite of what a lot of other people are hoping to do in 2013. But I don't drink that much of it, because I prefer plunger coffee. Espresso is too strong, and instant is too gross. But I like it. I want to drink more. So I'm going to.

6. Go out dancing.

Again. I like dancing. I'm not particularly good at it, but I want to do it more. A good boogie solves so many problems.

I recently stumbled across Elise's blog, and she has picked a word for 2013 - brave. I'm not sure I will pick that word, because it is too close to courage, which is the current buzzword at Corporate HQ. But, I do like the idea of choosing a word to centre your intentions on for the coming year, so I'm going to think about it and see what I come up with.

Anyone else making lists today?

xo

Gigs, gigs, gigs.

One of my big themes for 2012 has been concert-going. At the start of the year I said that I was going to take a break from attending gigs for financial and energy reasons, so of course, every band that I have ever loved ever decided to come to Australia. Clearly the universe had other - better - plans for me.

Last weekend I went to the UNSW Roundhouse to see one of my all time favourite bands, rock/punk/pop outfit from Florida, Yellowcard. It was one of those nights that felt like it was over in a flash because I was having so much fun and was so caught up in every song they played - including the most heartfelt singalong to "Empty Apartment" I have witnessed. Especially when this was the fifth time I've seen the band live - and of course I'm not even counting all the car-aoke sessions that this song has featured in. And especially when this was an all-standing event, and I am somewhat vertically challenged with bad posture. But I didn't notice my back hurting once. 

I've been thinking a lot recently about how as humans, we have a need to feel like we are part of something bigger than ourselves, and how this manifests itself in so many different ways. Sport, religion, music, political activity, workaholic-ism...I'm sure I could think of a bunch more if I put some time into it.

For me, there is nothing better than the energy you can feel at a gig, where the love is flowing freely between the audience and the performer. This was my fifth time with Yellowcard, and they never fail to deliver. It has nothing to do with the size of the audience, the level of fame the band has, or how good the venue is. I felt it with twenty thousand other people watching Prince earlier this year. I felt it years ago watching a little known band called Limbeck play at The Annandale Hotel - not the Annandale, but the smaller hotel further up Paramatta Road. There would have been 100 people in that room - maybe - and it was pretty much the happiest place on earth that night. 

Over the next few months I'm looking forward to Lady Antebellum (this week! It's a little bit country and a little bit...well, country), Radiohead, Weezer, Band of Horses and hopefully Ben Harper if I can track down some tickets. I can't wait...

Lullaby schmullaby.

I think about sleep, the nature of sleep, and how it affects us a lot. I've always been incredibly envious of people who fall asleep as easily as turning off a light, and can pretty much settle down for a nap in any old place, like my cousin Tom can. Give him 60 seconds and a relatively comfortable spot, and out he goes. As I write this, I'm waiting for my electric blanket to heat up so I can crawl into bed and settle in for the night. But I know, there will be a good amount of trying to calm down my brain and thinking of peaceful quiet places in the hopes that it will help me drift off.

Whether it's being constantly awoken by a baby or toddler that needs you, or simply being a "troubled sleeper" like myself, when a good nights sleep constantly eludes you, you can find yourself going a little cuckoo. I've had sleep issues since I was pretty young. Georgia and I shared a room when we were kids, and I'm sure she can pay testament to the fact that once put to bed, I rarely stayed there. I probably drove her crazy, getting up over and over again, but even as a kid I knew that it was ridiculous to try to sleep when you simply can't. In the ensuing two decades of trying to figure out this whole sleep thing, I've come to a few conclusions that I thought I would share with you. 

1. If it's taking you more than half an hour to get to sleep, stop trying. Seriously.

A lot of articles I have read say if it takes more that fifteen minutes get up and stop trying to force it, but I feel like half an hour is a bit more reasonable. We're busy people, constantly connected. It takes a while to switch off. If it's just not happening for me, I get back back up and try to do mindless things that aren't too stimulating, like folding laundry or reorganising my sock drawer. Reading a boring book can sometimes help, and if you find that you aren't too affected by computer screens, then the old Freecell or solitaire can be a winner. At the moment, I'm all about mahjong. I know it's not how you really play mahjong, but good lord is it mind numbing.

The point is, there is no point lying in bed stressing about how much sleep that you're not getting and how tired you'll be the next day. Being tired sucks, but it's not the end of the world. You'll be okay. Whatever you do, don't lie there staring at the ticking clock! And if all else fails, go to the couch and turn on that channel that plays infomercials 24/7.

2. Pay attention to how your body deals with caffeine.

Until earlier this year, I had no idea how wildly different our responses to caffeine can be. Some people can have a coffee right before going to bed, and sleep perfectly well. Others, like myself, have to ration their cups of tea strictly - I avoid any caffeine after midday. Seriously. It puts me into that "I'm exhausted but can't close my eyes" nightmare state, that is truly, truly frustrating. I know this is a big deal - a lot of us a very attached to our caffeinated beverages. I'm not saying give them up, but if you're having trouble sleeping, it could be worth reassessing. 

After midday, I am my very own tea nazi...no tea for me!!

3. No televisions or computers in the bedroom. I mean it y'all. 

This is a tough one, right? I know it contradicts what I said in point one a little, but as a general habit, keep the screens away from the bedroom. The light from these screens supresses melatonin production, which is the hormone that naturally regulates our sleep cycles. Ideally, our brains secrete more in the evening, when it’s dark, to make us sleepy, and less during the day when it’s light and so we can stay awake and alert. You don't want to mess with that. It's one of the reasons I've started to become a big fan of podcasts. My all time favourite is from NPR, and is called "This American Life." I seriously recommend it, it's incredibly interesting. So actually, I should probably start seeking out podcasts that are a little duller...

4. White noise.

I have an app on my iPhone that makes rain noises. It's brilliant. You can choose the kind of rain you would like to listen to, and there are a plethora of options. My personal favourite is "medium and steady with puddles" but you might prefer "gentle against windows with wind" or "heavy torrential downpour." Or you could just turn the radio to static, or maybe get one of those wave machines. Whatever works for you. The idea, is to block out noises from the street or your neighbours, that can disturb your sleep. I think it's brilliant. Plus, if you are travelling, it helps you feel more at home.

There are other things that might work for you that I've tried, but for some reason never really did it for me. Sleep teas and meditation recordings are both options that work like a charm for others, but left me wide awake, with a chattering mind. 

I hope this helps! Sweet dreams. Y'all.

The art of doing one thing at a time

For the past nine months or so I've been dealing with some health issues that have affected my day to day life in some interesting, and also annoying, ways. A fairly protracted bout of Glandular Fever (insert joke about pashing random people here - go on do it - you know you want to) led to some crazy food allergies and what could potentially be Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. While I'm still unsure about the diagnosis, the fact remains that life is different from how it used to be.

Sometimes these differences manifest themselves in good ways. For example, I don't seem to need to wash my hair as much these days. SCORE. I also have a damn good reason for staying at home on the couch when it's cold and rainy outside, and any normal person would be doing the same, fatigued or not. I've learned how to say no - simply because I've had to. As a born people pleaser this is a particularly hard lesson to learn, but it had to happen. I've been met with waves of compassion when I was at my sickest, and been lucky enough to have others share their experiences of being sick with me, and also their advice. 

The advice has been key because in this, the age of Dr. Internet, there have been times when I have felt suffocated by all the information that is available. And of course the subsequent agendas of those posting the information. Take supplements! Don't take supplements! Google searches on CFS and which treatments are the best are really a dangerous road to go down. I've learned my lesson there (mostly). It seems like instead of making people feel empowered and hopeful, the internet does exactly the opposite. It can create some wonderful forums for wallowing, self-pity and doom-mongering. No thanks.

The overwhelming advice I've received, from both Dr. Internet and Dr Real Life, is that pacing is key. It's taken me a while to really take this on board and apply it to all aspects of my life. For a while, I thought it was just about staying home and not socialising as much as I used to. Cut to me, sitting on my couch with the television on, my laptop in front of me and my iPhone beeping away at me, making sure I was up to date with all my Words With Friends games. And I wondered why I was going to bed each night feeling wired and my energy levels were plateauing, if not getting worse.

If only life was this, right?

I was chatting to a good friend recently, and she mentioned that these days companies and workplaces are focussing less on multi-tasking and more on doing one thing at a time. That this was a new trend, in how we work and live our lives. This got me thinking - when do I ever do one thing at a time? When does anyone? And how would our lives change if we did? We all fear that drop in our productivity, but really, how much does multi-tasking actually help us, other than to make us feel like we're on top of things, but in fact we are constantly stressed and overwhelmed. For so long, being so busy and doing a hundred things at once was seen as a badge of honour and a sign of importance - maybe we're finally letting that go?


Interestingly enough, people who multi-task aren't any more efficient than those who don't, according to this blog post, that Click Training and Consulting kindly directed me to as I was writing this very post. Thanks internet - maybe you're not so bad after all.

So I'm trying something new. When I sit on the couch to watch a movie, I just watch the movie. It surprised me how difficult that actually is. No laptop and no Words With Friends.  When I spend time with friends and family, my phone stays in my bag and that time is devoted to them. Writing this blog post right now is all I'm doing. My phone is in the other room and the TV is off. At work, I write my "to-do" lists and work through them systematically, one thing at a time. 

When I remember to do these things - suddenly I feel like I'm in control, like I'm managing. Am I magically cured? No, probably not. But I do feel like this un-multi-tasking business has its perks. Plus, I'm more than happy to let someone else win the busiest person competition - it's not a title I'm particularly interested in, thanks anyway.

Interested in reading more about doing less? Check out this post from Sarah Wilson. Actually, check out her blog in general. It's pretty great.

Keeping up with it all.

Way back when I was in primary school the beginning of the school holidays signalled clean-out-my-room time. This was mostly self-inflicted. It seems I got some sort of  joy out of emptying my cupboards and drawers, going through all my bits and pieces and then putting it all back again in a neat and tidy fashion. I would throw out a handful of things I didn't want anymore like dried-out textas then sharpen my pencils, alphabetise my books and so on. I didn't have a great deal of 'stuff' back then so it wasn't a major task but I would dedicate most of a day to it.

Nowadays I am not the greatest cleaner or tidier in the world and I do have a fair bit of 'stuff'. I went through a bit of a hunter/gatherer phase around the turn of the century but have slowed down on the gathering a lot now. The last time we moved house (coming up to five years ago) was a real eye opener. So many boxes of fabric, 'things to sell on ebay', memories, 'collectibles' and so on. Too many. And those 'boxes full of stuff' stayed 'boxes full of stuff' for too long. I had to come up with some motivation and some rules to get me sorting, culling, organising and getting real about the stuff-to-space ratio in our home. Slowly I'm starting to realise what works and what doesn't work for me when it comes to cleaning and organising. After a recent chat with a friend made me realise I wasn't the only one with this sort of problem I thought maybe sharing a few of my favourite tips here might be helpful for someone else... and motivating for me.


Here are the things I tell myself about cleaning and tidying, in no particular order. They might not work for you but then again, maybe they will?

1. Nothing should have a permanent home in a cardboard box. Find a place for the things you have in boxes that were never unpacked when you last moved house. If you still want to keep those things but have to store them away for whatever reason try to get a plastic box with a lid and make sure you have a place for that box whether it be in a shed, garage, in the top of a wardrobe or somewhere out of the way. Try not to have the box in view in the house. If you can make space to have a box in the house you should be able to make space for whatever is in the box somewhere out on display.


2. Do you use it? Do you need it? Do you love it? When I'm really stuck on an item in a clean-up I try to ask myself these three questions. I think I got this tip from watching an episode of Hoarding - Buried Alive. If I can't answer 'Yes' to any of these questions then I seriously need to think about letting go of the object in question.

3. The 'Pick Up 5 Things' rule. I'm afraid I can't remember where I came across this suggestion. I think it might have been on an Oprah organisation special some years ago. This one works best for me on a more day-to-day basis. Every time I get up from the computer, the couch or walk through a room, for example, I pick up and put away five things that aren't in their place. If I'm feeling extra motivated I'll change the rule to 'Pick up 5 things and wipe down one surface'. I don't actually do this all the time but when I do it helps keep the mess, created by two untidy adults and one active toddler, down a bit. Sometimes it's hard to know where to start when faced with tidying or a major clean up. Just start with five things.

4. MOOP - Matter Out Of Place. This ties in with the above point. The problem is that to deal with MOOP, everything in your home must actually have a place. If you can aim to have a place for all your belongings and then have an empty shelf or cupboard somewhere you might find you feel a whole lot better in your surroundings. (Easier said than done, right?)

5. Daily email from The Organised Housewife. Recently I subscribed to the daily email from a blog called The Organised Housewife. Daily Tasks are sent to your inbox. Instead of dealing with cleaning all at once these emails suggest one thing to do each day. Breaking it down this way makes it much less daunting. Examples of tasks I've seen in the emails so far include clean your knife block and wipe down the kitchen cupboard doors. The little things do add up to making a difference.

6. Pomodoro technique. I think I first heard about the Pomodoro technique from Frecklewonder's blog. It's a timer system that can be used to help get you through any task at home or at work. I find I use it most when I am working. Check out the Pomodoro website for the details but basically you break tasks down into 25 minute blocks with 5 minute breaks after the first three sessions and a longer break after the fourth. I find it really makes me stay on task and the job feels a lot shorter somehow. There are various Pomodoro apps for the computer or your phone or you can just use a regular timer. Try using it when cleaning or sorting your 'stuff'. It might help keep you motivated.


7. Watch Hoarders, Hoarding - Buried Alive or How Clean Is Your House?.
These TV shows never fail to inspire and motivate me. They remind me of what could happen if I never did anything in the way of cleaning or tidying. I think I could watch these shows all day long.

As I said, these are some tips that work for me. Does anyone have any good cleaning and organising tips to add?